The Band Members

Paul - Vocals
"Because it's music like what my Dad used to play." This is a famous quote from an early radio interview in answer to the question 'why do you play Ska?'. The sheer eloquence of the reply suggests a rapier like wit coupled with an encyclopaedic command of the English language.
Apparently, Paul's Dad and buddies used to gather around the open bonnet of a Ford Consul at weekends, exchanging helpful advice and repair tips. The lilting tone of The Melodian's 'I caught you' drifting through the air provided inspiration to the young Carter, destined for greatness as the bloke at the front.
Hates Jazz - is frequently heard shouting 'Oi, what are you playing that for - you Jazz wanker' to anyone playing more than two notes of a scale. Be warned - Paul was once caught 'staking out his territory' in a Belgian town square after a gig using the same method that cats employ...

Steve - Guitar
The incredible 'knee jerk' dance moves of this able guitarist, writer and mother of three have elevated Steve to a cult status. The secret of this deceptively simple dance movement is revealed here for the first time.
Whilst in a standing position (preferably holding a guitar or tennis racket in front of a mirror), bend the knees whilst swivelling to the left in a corkscrew action. Then return to the standing position by reversing this manoeuvre and then repeat, except this time bend to the right.
Continue the movements, slowly increasing the speed as you achieve higher levels of competency. Once mastered, the 'Knee Jerk' will generate gasps of admiration from the circle of fellow dancers formed around the clearing created for all expert 'Jerkers'.
The only drawback to this dance move is that if the legs are pressed too tightly together it has been known to cause severe genital trauma and in extreme cases, shrinkage if the movement is used over a prolonged period of time. Steve has been doing the knee jerk since he could toddle.

Lewis - Bass Guitar
This chunky bass man is affectionately known as 'Dad Lewis' by the rest of the band - largely due to his insistance on wearing flip-flops at gigs and the way he dances as if he has just defacated in his pants. However all too often the latter comparison may be closer to reality than one might think. For despite his silky smooth bass skills, clean cut looks and extraordinary acts of charity, Lewis is a hopeless boozehound. Often seen in a comatosed state having lost all control of his bodily functions, Lewis has been known to raid band members wash bags in search of aftershave if more conventional alcoholic beverages become unavailable.
Fortunately this 'Lord of all Bass' has absolutely no memory of these atrocious acts of self destruction, and so far none of his pals has had the heart to tell him what an embarrasing lush he really is - bless him.

Charlie 'Sweet Sticks'- Drums
Charlie 'Sweetstix' Price, the latest addition to the Intensified line-up has, within a matter of weeks, already gained the reputation as the gentleman of the band, with his selfless acts of unbridled charity and exemplary mild manner. Charlie is in fact so polite and considerate that he apologises before blowing off in the tour bus, and has as a result put some noses out of joint in the Intensified camp by raising the bar too high on standards of conduct and personal hygiene.

That said, the man sweats like a Catholic Priest on a coach full of choir boys.

Its true, for the man who has no realistic chance of ever gaining sponsorship from Rightguard, the merest hint of physical exertion sends his sweat glands into overdrive. After ascending just one step to the drum riser the observer may be forgiven for thinking that Charlie had just completed a 4 hour set with Slayer, such are the extent of moist patches about his person.

The act of drumming itself produces some remarkable phenomena, among them facial expressions resembling Robert De Niro accompanied by grimaces similar to those produced when sucking lemons or disposing of a particularly jagged poo. Yep folks, with Charlie boy you get the lot, delivering excellent musical performance and visual entertainment simultaneously are just part and parcel of this professional's repertoire. Hail Charlie! Long Live Sweetstix!!

Lee - Percussion
If this bloke ever says that he knows a short cut, be sure you have invested in oil shares before following his advice. For Mr Edgington can get lost in his own back yard, let alone offer remotely helpful advice to the stressed driver in a congested foreign city.
In short, the former 'Dover Skiffle Band' star, the undisputed king of washboard despite his obvious love affair with food cannot drive or navigate for toffee.
However, if ping-pong and cheesy disco DJ's do it for you, then Lee is your man.

Andy - Keyboards
Keyboard maestro, golf player and England cricket fan, started his career playing the organ at Sheffield's Spectacular Electric Light Theatre in the early 1900's. With the arrival of talking pictures he faced working looms in t' mill or,due to their scarcity, as a pit budgie alerting the miners to the presence of gas. Leaving behind his pigeons, donned in flat cap and clogs, he succumbed to the allure of London's bright lights. His potential was spotted by his own Artful Dodger in the form of trad reggae outfit 100 Men, his hammond skills gaining much acclaim.
He became articulate, and gained more skills, ranging from computer nerd to chauffeur for tennis stars (he's had Anna Kornikova on the back seat of his car!)....a far cry from the ferrets, workhouses, leatherings and small pox of his youth.
Joining Intensified in '99, after a short spell in Barbed Wire, Andy now has fan clubs across Europe. He is however struggling to shake off the moniker Shandy Andy, due to an apparent intolerance to alcohol, something the band have failed to rid him of so far.

Spadge - Trombone
Spadge, aka AJ/Spudge/AF is as bald as a coot. His haunting trombone solos are as smooth as his shiny head (but on a bad night and in stark contrast as rough as a dinosaur's scrotum).
Often , he reduces the audience to tears with his effortless trombone playing sometimes clearing the hall altogether as the audience stampede to the throne room having experienced 'collective spontaneous rectal prolapse' as a result of a low note just off the bottom of the trombone's natural range (known as the 7 hertz rumble)
Watch this multi-talented rising star reach the very pinnacles of success, then slowly disintegrate into the dark world of alcoholism, sordid sex and scandal, for which all pub landlords have notoriety - ending life anonymously, busking in one of our capital city's less desirable subways.

Pete Tenor Sax
Keeping the Ska Flame burning is not a great priority for fireman Pete 'Blue Watch' Maclaren. He remembers the dance hall day and the sounds of Skinhead Reggae. Mind you he also remembers when you had to fetch water from the town well. This is not the only connection with water that sax man Maclaren has: he also looks like a Mirror Carp when he sings.
Pete's playing often causes spectators to grimace with emotion - that sort of 'first log of the day' look. This expression is so widespread that the phenomenon is now named by musicians as 'the Esther Pantsen Technique'.

Karl - Alto Sax
A regular space cadet, computer whizz-man and ex-student, Karl manages to keep his antique Alto Sax 'on the road' with the aid of chewing gum, elastic bands and sticking plasters. Insisting that 'it was alright last time it was played' when it disintegrates in the middle of a solo, Karl (Ska's Tinky Winky) displays contempt when he completely ignores his fellow musicians pleas to 'get a nice new one will you?'
A master of the famous last word, Karl often puts his size 10 in it by saying 'oh I like this one, this ones easy' shortly before completely fluffing it.
Hair follicles tingle, fillings vibrate and elderly people lose their false teeth (not to mention their bowels) in the confusion as Karl reaches the climatic conclusion of his horn solo.
This virtuoso, dedicated couch potato and splatter movie freak is an essential part of an otherwise almost quite good horn section.